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Shine has identified four stages that people commonly experience when diagnosed with a mental illness. Not everyone will go through all of these stages but you might identify with any or all of them. Take a look at the list below and see if you recognise any of these stages for yourself. By getting your bearings, you are taking the first step in moving towards a balanced, more positive frame of mind.
Shock and denial
When a mental illness first develops, the symptoms are often so confusing and overpowering that the only possible reaction is shock. Even when the situation is recognised and treatment begins, some people may still deny that they have an illness. We may be afraid of the implications or we may have prejudices about mental illness, thinking I’m not like that! We may be mixing up reality with confused ideas resulting from the illness. All this is very understandable but it doesn’t change the facts. Accepting that you have experienced mental distress is a difficult and brave thing to do. Doing so is a positive step in taking control of your life again.
Depression and anger
It’s natural to be depressed by bad news. It would be strange if not to react in this way. The important thing is to recognise that this is a valid but temporary phase; that you can move on to a more positive and useful way of feeling. This is easier said than done, of course. It can help to talk with a sympathetic person. The same is true with anger. It’s all too easy to be angry at others, angry at the illness, even angry with yourself for being angry. While anger in itself doesn’t usually have a beneficial effect, it’s good to recognise the energy it contains and try to channel this into more useful action.
Accepting and coping
Accepting does not mean being passive. It means recognising and accepting yourself with all your current strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes. It means getting to know yourself again, without any illusions. This gives you a much firmer foundation for coping, for dealing with the demands of daily life.
Building your inner strength
With time, with knowing that you can cope, that you can get through another episode of illness, comes a certain confidence. You can then start to call on this inner strength to act in your interest in other ways. This may be in small ways at first, preparing your favourite meal for example. Other people may not even notice this, but you’ll know how important it is. When you feel ready, you can take actions to help yourself in other ways too, such as deciding to improve your health, reduce smoking, doing a course or looking at getting back to work in some way.
Try to become aware of your feelings and acknowledge them. Discuss them with people you care about or talk them over with a trusted health professional or with people in your local support group. By working through all of your emotions, at your own pace, you can achieve acceptance and inner strength.
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